Gaps

I have never written consistently - poetry, my journal, random posts on facebook or whatever - there have always been gaps. I have a friend who writes a blog post every day. I admire her, but I know I won't ever do that. For me life happens, and I fall silent for a bit.

Today I was walking my dog and pondering the gaps. Wondering if people notice the moments when I am not saying anything, and wondering what they read into that? Sometimes I fall silent because there is other positive stuff taking up my time and I am busy having fun with my family, but at other times it is less positive and I retreat because I am struggling with anxiety or depression. Often I have wished I could be rid of those less positive pauses in my life. However, my pondering today led me to recognise that to be fully me, I need all the gaps, irrespective of how they feel at the time. And I wrote the poem below in celebration of that.

In the spaces      between      my words,
And in the gaps
       between
              my lines,
You will find me.

--

In the paragraph I chose to skip,
And in the silent moments
as I tell my tale,
You will hear my story.

On the days I did not write,
Or had little to say,
On the days when efficient productivity
was superseded
by immobilising anxiety,
On those days,
You will find
I am still me.
Fully me.
In the gaps,
And in the silence.
For true music is formed
by the rests
between the sweet chords,
And harmony only created
by the inclusion
of the many differing notes.
So, take note of the pauses.
This is the symphony of my being.