Saturday 15 February 2020

You saw me

This week it feels appropriate to share a poem I wrote a while back...

Sometimes I feel like I am not really seen by the people around me. Sometimes I don't want to be seen. Sometimes I do, but then doubt that what might be seen will be accepted. Hiding is easier. Honest relationships are hard.

Sometimes I am glad that there is someone who always sees me. And is the truth.


You saw me
unformed in my mother’s womb,
a pure bundle of possibilities.

You saw me
lying naked and exposed
in a world beyond my understanding.

You saw me
run with faltering steps,
speeding unprepared into confusion’s abyss.

You saw me
standing tall while flailing inside,
drowning in the silent fear of failure.

You saw me
broken.
torn open.
until with dawning truth

I saw you
gently walk with unfailing clarity
to cover my misshapen perceptions
and re-form me.

Saturday 1 February 2020

Candlemas

Growing up a was aware of the church celebrations of Christmas and Epiphany, but after that there seemed to be a long period of dark winter nights of nothing until Lent. However, in recent years I have become aware of the celebration of Candlemas. February 2nd, 40 days after Christmas, 40 days from birth to the day when Mary was allowed to enter the temple, offer sacrifices and be cleansed from her impurities.

The account in Luke 2 vs 22 - 38 mentions Mary's encounters with Simeon and the prophet Anna. I have always wondered how Mary felt on this day. And in the days preceding it. In many ways she was an ordinary girl, to whom extraordinary things were happening. Encounters with angels, an unplanned unusual pregnancy, a birth miles away from the family and home. The bible tells us of her faith and humble acceptance. But I imagine that at times Mary just longed to be normal, longed for predictability. I imagine her coping with all the emotions that accompany dealing with a newborn infant - joy at new life, struggles with lack of sleep and feeding worries. And I imagine her approaching the temple that day feeling a little relief at being able to follow the normal jewish traditions... and then she is reminded again that the life she holds in her arms is far from normal. But this life has come to bring life -unpredictable, but abundant life for all.


Blessed beginnings
humbled by His holiness
I open my hands,
my heart,
my womb
to his will.
Called to journey
lonely road to stable bed
I trust in his plan,
his way,
his revealing
of his son.

But there are days of doubt,
of fearful darkness creeping in.
Days when I long for normality,
for things to be as they were.
But they will never be.
All has changed.

Presentation and purification
traditions observed for generations
I am renewed,
refreshed,
reminded
of his promises.
Waiting ancients
approach the holy child
I open my ears,
my eyes,
my arms
here is the Light of the World.

All will be well.